I've found sobriety has been like undoing a knotted ball of wine. Untwisting, unwinding, slowly letting the mess unravel as the linear progression succeeds. In a sense it has been like losing my religion while finding god. The contrasts eerily compare to the yin yang tattoed on my arm. With the good comes the bad. You can't know one without the other. They're synonymous, as is my appreciation for the better side after walking in the dark for so long. In a month it will be 40 years of hell. I swear this life is the closest thing to it. My belief is we're in purgatory, constantly reincarnated until perfection. Living as quick as I did, I more than likely would not have fully realized I was even gone. Sometime's I wonder if I already did die and this is the beginning of the hell rollercoaster. Other days I just try to keep center balance on the beam and get to the other side in one piece...
There's a reason for everything and lessons taught every moment of life. To be real is to simply be in tune with your inner spirit. To be aligned with the stars, not in the wishful sense, but the realistic one. Take life on one piece at a time and eventually the bigger picture emerge...
Most of the chaos in life is due to different perspectives, but everyone is different and that's what makes the whole to begin with - our adversities. I watched a show recently, family guy, where everyone peter interacted with turned into robin williams. Peter loves laughter in his life so he figures this is a godsend, but soon begins to realize just the opposite - it frightened the hell out of him - as it should. Would you like everyone else exactly as you expect in your image or life going exactly how you planned 100% of the time? What would be the point - what we had originally hoped would always return true... So naturally we would stop hoping all together. That's much like learning how to live sober - learning how to take on the diversity in ways that are managable for everyone involved.
I like the saying by martin luther king JR., 'I have a dream.' I live by a different tune - "I don't want a nightmare" ... Sometime's humor is the best medicine, and life is too short to worry all time. In the movie American History X there's also another good quote - "Hate is baggage" Who need's it? It only acts as a fuel for more hate... Just as a drug leaves you craving for the next hit each time twice as much... The point in taking the drug to begin with soon fades away into an oblivion of "What the fuck is going on?" and "Why is this happening?" Because you lost sight of yourself and gave into an easier life force - evil... Evil is easy, evil is a mockery, evil is the bully in the yard that everyone hates... The only way to overcome that force is to stop feeding it - Without food it can't live. Without fear - it's only end result, it can't thrive. Let's turn "I have a dream." Into a reality ...
The root of all evil is money. Think about any kind of controversy around the world and you will get one of the seven deadly sins at its core. The energy we are comprised of can be altered to affect the events in our lives - in a positive or negative way. What you think becomes speech. What you say becomes action. What you do becomes who you are. Start with the simplest puzzle piece and everything else will fall in place.
The simplest element in it's fundamental form cannot be altered to be used for something else unless transformed. The tree that cannot be used does not get chopped down. Your mind should be like settled water so reflections are visible. One ripple clouds perception. This is how mirrors work, and why I feel they are considered portals to other dimensions... Think of your body as a mountain and thoughts as clouds - let them pass. When you try to capture any thought you'll become mentally stuck in that scenario - and begin to get the associated emotions. That's where meditation comes in handy - to clear the airwaves. The cause of any kind of controversy around the world is one of the following: pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, sloth. We are all human and have to deal with all emotion's so the key is to calm the mind to make it as manageable as possible. What you think becomes speech. What you say becomes action. What you do becomes who you are. When having any kind of conflict - calm the mind, reflect, resolve, repeat. Eventually the bigger picture will begin to emerge.
Everything is one - Strive for Peace.
Pi - The number π is a mathematical constant, approximately equal to 3.14159 It appears in many formulae across mathematics and physics.
Infinity - is something which is boundless, endless, or larger than any natural number. From the time of the ancient Greeks, the philosophical nature of infinity has been the subject of many philosophers in the 17th century the infinity symbol and infinitesimal calculus was introduced.
